Code Red Doctor! I think I have been Spiritually Bypassed...

“Good Vibes Only”

“Light and Love”

“Focus on the Positive”

Seemingly nice sentiments are not always meant to fall prey to negative connotation, but when heard aloud can cause some to feel TRIGGERED. There is a fine line between Spiritual Enlightenment and Spiritual Bypassing.

If these statements are delivered in a certain situation, circumstance or setting, they can be a way of denying, suppressing, escaping from uncomfortable issues in life or just flat out avoiding how we TRULY feel; Alternatively, when said to someone else, can make that person feel ashamed for being real and trying to express themselves in the moment. This is called-

Spiritual Bypassing.

“The greatest difficulty is the mental resistance to things that arise, and the underlying assumption that they should not.”

-Eckhart Tolle

Spirituality is meant to uplift you as a human, not cause you to want to run screaming in the other direction. Spiritual practice is also a road that can be quite difficult and dark at times. It is a constant journey that is never met with an “end” but more a continued desire to learn, grow and reflect. Being in a state of false positivity and using spirituality to avoid “doing the work” is shutting yourself off from your potential and perhaps your true purpose in life. A lot of the time, spiritual bypassing is emotional bypassing – not wanting to feel and face our pain and fears.

If you listened to our podcast on Cancel Culture (Season 2, Episode 5) Cancel Culture or Censorship? · Divine Tandem Podcast (spotify.com) there is a lot of grey area surrounding that topic, and one would say, the same goes for this one too. As I tread carefully, I also want to be transparent; We may have all fallen victim to being spiritually bypassed and or unintentionally victimized someone else…There is no shame in knowing, admitting, or even realizing it for the first time, we are human after all. We make mistakes and if we are of a true higher state of consciousness, we will be open to LEARNING from our mistakes and allow others to do the same.

“We would learn so much from our mistakes if we weren’t so busy denying them.”

-Mel Robbins

What does Spiritual Bypassing look like? Here are just a few examples to help you recognize the signs…

· Fake Spirituality or Mirroring Effect - Someone claiming to live and practice spirituality, but when something negative transpires or they do not get what they want from a situation, turn angry, passive aggressive and project (mirror) those emotions back on to the other person saying that they in fact are not true spiritual beings - The fake calling YOU a faker.

· Toxic Positivity – Someone reaching out for help who has mental health issues, is experiencing grief, trauma, systemic injustice, or something else difficult needs a safe and supportive space to express this. Someone telling them to “Focus on the positive,” “Move on” or “Get help” in a flippant way are far from an invitation to “open up” to one another. These statements can often cause people to feel alienated, guilty, shame and in turn force people to shut down and turn inward - potentially having the situation worsen.

· The Lack of Colour-ist – “All Lives Matter” or “We are all One human race” In theory these should be true, HOWEVER it is not, there is polarity and great divide in the world. Saying that you do not see colour, and that everyone’s life matters is a slight because some are and have been suffering for their entire lives because of the colour of their skin. We do not have the same “one” access to healthcare, safety, housing, food, education, and other basic human needs that do matter for everyone. By not acknowledging this truth, you are perpetuating the problem and not doing your part to help in the matter. You are keeping the repressed down and continuing the vicious cycle.

· Disconnect or Detachment – “I don’t have attachments” or “I’m not affected because I don’t get attached” again…We are HUMAN BEINGS, and we all need some level of HEALTHY attachment. Relationships, friendships, a home or shelter, supplies. When you deny this as a truth it can lead to avoidance and repression of fundamental needs. Having attachment also shows your level of care for something or someone. If you have ever experienced a loss of any kind, the feeling of grief that follows is a sign that you had great love (attachment) for something. When you suggest or tell someone that they are “too attached” it can be shaming and hurtful.

“I must also have a dark side if I am to be whole.”

-CG Jung

The lesson here? Light cannot exist without darkness. We are eternal spiritual beings living a temporary human experience, BUT not all humans are good or benevolent- What I would say to that is awareness is key! When you feel slighted, triggered or flat out angry and upset when someone does or says something to you that falls into the spiritual bypassing category…do your utmost best to not engage. This is what they want. It is validating them with attention. You cannot bull sh*t the Universe - Let the scales of karma balance themselves.

Understanding the intention of what is being said versus the impact it will have when you say it will be a huge game changer when trying to navigate some tough conversations. Have compassion for yourself and others – A lot of the time, (despite a few bad apples) people do not even realize that what they are saying is insensitive or hurtful and in fact most of the time people are well-intentioned (most of the time), but it is the conversations that follow that will make or break these connections and really strive for our collective betterment. Check in with your gut - You must use your intuition as your ultimate guide and discern what makes sense TO YOU.

For more on this subject and other hot topics, do not miss our podcast as we will be diving in deeper and exploring examples from our own experiences. Divine Tandem - YouTube

If you have dealt with Spiritual Bypassing and want to share, send us an email to divinetandem@gmail.com or send us a DM on Instagram – we can talk about it on a future podcast!

To keep up with with more magical content from Divine Tandem be sure to follow us on Instagram @divinetandem

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