How Anxiety & Life’s Challenges Can Make You or Break You – Your Choice! By: Millie Hawkins

Hi, I’m Millie and this is my story of how setbacks, heartbreak, anxiety, and life’s challenges pushed me to the brink before my big breakthrough.

The journey began when I was offered a job at a local veterinary clinic, after only my first day of attending Year 10 work experience. This was my first ‘foot in the door’ into the industry and I was hooked! I originally thought of pursuing a career as a veterinary nurse, but the veterinary team at the clinic encouraged me to apply for university to study veterinary science. This had never really crossed my mind as a possibility as I knew that becoming a vet took a lot of study and top of the class grades. At the time, my grades were nothing outstanding, but the seed was planted and when people see something special in you, that’s when you know there’s something worthwhile to explore.

In 2015 the idea of studying veterinary science was re-ignited when a veterinary graduate from Charles Sturt University (CSU) began working with me. I was amazed to find out that there was a university out there in a rural town, that accepted students that hadn’t studied advanced math or chemistry. I researched the university further and of course, I did have to get my grades up to even be considered, but as soon as I had a goal to work towards, they steadily improved. Every test I sat and got an A in was a small win that pushed me one step closer towards my aspiration. I soon learned that just having good grades was not enough, but also experience in the industry working on farms and vet clinics was also a requirement. This led me to conduct multiple short placements at farms in my school holidays and I maintained my casual job at the local vet clinic. My first drawback was when my voluntary farm experiences lead to me contracting a parasite (cryptosporidiosis), that left me unwell with stomach cramps and explosive diarrhea (sorry TMI!), during Year 12 on and off for months! The diagnosis of the condition also took a while with my doctor claiming “I’ve been doing this for over 30 years, and I have never heard of this.” The infection affected my studies, but it thankfully did clear up before the Year 12 exams.

With my near-perfect grades, a few months of farm experience and a few years of clinic experience behind me, I applied for the 2017 intake during my completion of Year 12, in 2016. My initial application was successful, and I was thrilled to be invited to the next stage to attend an interview and numeracy test. The panel interview was an experience, to say the least. As a 17-year-old I’d barely even had an interview for a job before, so I was not sure what to expect. The challenges of interviewing for your dream university and dream course on your first go with no real-life experience yet were eye-opening and left me in tears. To top it off, my Year 12 results were just shy of where they needed to be for entry… I was in for the biggest test of my short life so far!

The knockback of 2016’s application, due to grades and a lack of industry experience led me to my plan B university course for 2017. I completed a year of study in a Bachelor of Science at La Trobe University, to receive the grades necessary to re-apply. In my spare time, I also conducted voluntary farm work to gain further experience. I again completed the application and was interviewed (Again). This time I left the interview with a smile on my face. Unfortunately, despite my near-flawless university grades and positive interview feedback, my application was unsuccessful due to (still) not having enough farm experience.

In 2018, I was on a mission to sink myself completely into gaining both industry and life experience. I was determined for a different outcome…

In the midst of my endeavors to make my dreams come true, I was also battling my own personal demons with crippling anxiety that lead to panic attacks and struggling to even leave the house (other than for work) for months at a time. I was always an anxious person, but this was the first time in my life, that my thoughts had left me feeling like a prisoner within my own mind. Everyday tasks like going to the supermarket or catching up with friends became a nightmare that I would avoid AT ALL COSTS, and I did. I was in my own personal isolation well before the 2020 pandemic.

My dark times were turned around when I began my new job at a local dairy and re-focused my mind onto why I was pushing myself so hard.

Here are some steps I took to manage my anxiety and re-center myself on the path to glory:

• Reaching out and talking with friends – It’s okay to ask for help!

• Getting referred by my GP to see a counsellor (Bonus it was free to do so!)

• From seeing the counsellor, I learned some deep breathing exercises and other techniques to distract the mind from panic and reframe my thoughts

• I became more aware of my emotions and the ups and downs of life – Self Awareness is KEY to unlocking your power and understanding yourself.

• I re-sparked my dream, by manifesting my future and imagining myself at Uni for 2019! Vision Boards are great for this!

• I motivated myself by watching some veterinary related TV shows and got excited about the farming industry by chatting with local farmers (Aussie farmers are an inspiration just on their own!)

2018, led to my third application and then the third interview for entry into a veterinary course at CSU. This time, it would be different, I just felt it! I had true life experience under my belt now, when only a few short years before I did not understand why the universe was telling me “Not Yet.” I left the interview screaming to my Mum “I absolutely F***ing smashed it!” I had the interviewers cutting me off because we were running out of time, and I had too much to say. I even managed to get a few genuine laughs out of the panel. Finally, in December of 2018, I received an early first-round offer that I had dreamed of for so long. To top off my excitement, I later received an email from the head of school, that by chance interviewed me. He personally congratulated me on accepting my offer and explained that I had well and truly earned my place studying at their university. What he didn’t know was that I claimed something far greater that day. The trust, strength and unwavering faith in myself and my own capabilities.

It was a bumpy road to reach my goal of studying veterinary science. It was even tougher to be turned away two years in a row. At that point, it was like being told that I was not good enough, smart enough or dedicated enough for the course and that I WAS THE PROBLEM. I often wonder how different my life would be if I didn’t get an offer to study for 2019 and if my mental health would have taken another turn for the worst. However, I can honestly say since beginning my studies I have never looked back, and I have embraced every minute of the lectures and practicals even throughout the online learning of 2020.

My anxiety is still something I deal with today, but through experience, I have better tools for managing my own mental health. I believe that my story of applying and finally being accepted into my dream veterinary course demonstrates both my commitment to the profession and my resilient nature in the face of adversity.

I am now a firm believer in the idea that everything happens for a reason. You are the master of your own destiny. When life throws you a curveball, you can either lay down and suffer, or let the challenges ignite the fire inside and keep going until you reach your goals. It’s your choice.

What do YOU want?

Millie is currently in her third year of studying a double degree of Bachelor of Veterinary Science/Bachelor of Veterinary Biology (5.5-year course) at Charles Sturt University in Wagga Wagga, New South Wales, Australia.

Originally from Bendigo, Victoria. Millie made the move to pursue her dreams.

She has a keen interest in all things dogs and cattle and has her own Jack Russell terrier Ottis as well as a Beef X heifer called “Thelly” that is due to calve August/ September 2021.

You can follow her journey @veterinarian_in_the_making

To keep up with more magical content from Divine Tandem be sure to follow us on Instagram @divinetandem

Holly & Kate can help you step into your power and find your niche!